Ugly Cat September 2006
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Wally Moto
Submitted by: Wally Moto's parents
Name: Wally Moto
Age: Unknown
Type of Cat Ugly: He squints his eyes and hisses at everything that moves.
My name is Wally Moto and I am the "ugly"est and meanest kitty in the
State/Republic of Texas. When I was two days old my Biological Mom dropped me
between the walls of my Dads' shop (she said something about my constant
whining). I meowed fiercely for a day and a half until my dad heard me and
removed the siding from the outside of the building and rescued me. Yeah, that
siding and insulation would have been history if I'd stayed in there any longer.
He dubbed me Wally and mom added the Moto because she said I looked Siamese.
He SHOULD have pulled me out sooner-- so I've been retaliating every since. My favorite target is my slave Mom. I let her know in no uncertain terms where she may go in the house and yard. She sure looks silly with all those band-aids on her legs and arms. Sometimes if Dad catches me, he makes me leave my Mom alone. I usually just freeze motionless on her leg and hope he won't notice me.
I demand daily treats and yowl constantly (when I'm not hissing). I take daily inventory of the house, garage, and yard to see if anything has changed. When I'm patrolling Dad calls me the "Little General". I love to shower daily affection on my dad. He rules! I let my Mom hold me for a few minutes each morning--I HAVE to do this because she buys my food, feeds me, opens the door when I want in or out, de-fleas me, takes me to the vet, pays my vet bills and always defends me when Dad says I'm worthless. So I figure I can tolerate fifteen minutes a week from her. Besides, she trainable.
I enjoy killing birds, mice/rats, and lizards. I leave them on the back step so Dad can see them and Mom can dispose of them. (I prefer canned IAMS over wild game.) I attack dogs if they come in the front yard, cats if they even look in my yard, and the mailman and I have had a few rounds. At just under twenty pounds it's my way or blood will be let. Go ahead an squirt me with the water hose- I love water.
Mom wrote this ballad for me when she realized by biological Mom dropped me down the wall on purpose. If you hum "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" in your head and you'll be able to sing the ballad.
The Ballad of Wally Moto:
My name is Wally Moto and I'm a little cat!
My mama she was Siamese and my daddy he was black.
I am an evil kitty,
I have been since my spawn.
My mama didn't want me so she dropped me down the wall!
But I don't look back,
I'm a cat.
I like to bite and I like to scratch.
I don't look back,
I'm just a cat.
I like to paw and I like to claw.
Wally Moto
(Devil Spawn)